5-Day Weigh-In

I decided how to look at my progress. Today was another weigh-in. I'm 7.8 pounds down. Continuing progress, but still slower than my original intention. I took stock and realized that my little blue line has continuously gone down, never flat, never up. I'm happy with that.

So...I've made a new black line on my chart. The original line is the "Thrilled" line, and the new one is the "Happy" line. I still want accountability and standards for my weight loss, but the top line represents 40 pounds loss in six months, and the bottom line represents 48 pounds. As long as my line is between the two, I'm happy.

Progress To Date..

I decided to do weigh-ins every 5 days because that was an easy increment for a nifty graph! The straight black line is the theoretical line of where I should be in order to meet my goal, the jagged lighter line is where I am. I'm a little frustrated. I have done absolutely NO cheating, but the progress is so slow.

It's a conundrum...should I adjust my goals? The fertility doctor used the phrase "You've been dealt a different metabolic hand" (than non-PCOS women), meaning that weight loss is expected to be difficult/slow. On the other hand, if I just keep adjusting my expectations of myself, where might it stop? How high should my expectations be?

I'm not doing anything unhealthy, I'm eating enough, and sticking with my dietitian's breakdown of carbs, veggies, proteins, fats, fruit, and dairy. I'm exercising regularly, but not to excess (more on that in the next post).

For now, no decisions. I'm happy that the line is going down. I wish it would go faster. But I did draw a pretty steep line. We'll see.

Progress, habits, and rewards

I've revised my weigh-in day to Saturday, mostly because I forgot this week...

Progress
Right now I have lost 4.8 pounds of my 48 pound goal. That's 10%! I'm on day 19/185, or 10.27% of the way through the time frame. I'm a little behind. That's ok. It was a little rough in the days leading up to starting the blog, and camp was in there. My goal is still reachable...43.2 pounds to go in almost 24 weeks, the average I would need to lose per week is about 1.82 pounds. Challenging, but do-able.

Habits
The picture I posted above was my breakfast. It was weird as a breakfast, but good as a meal. Chicken sausage, popcorn, broccoli, and cantaloupe. I put it together as a way of getting the nutrients I need, not as what I felt like eating. I've been adjusting to following a plan, whether I'm getting exactly what I would want or not.

Rewards
I've been thinking a lot about how in general, I give myself what I want. That goes for food, clothing, toys, and have not learned to delay gratification very well. This is especially true with desserts. When I drive by that cute Top Pot Donuts Airstream trailer two blocks from my house, or see a cake or box of chocolates at work, I indulge without thinking. If I do that once in a day, I can easily forget and then end up splurging several times in that same day. Other days, I find myself indulging several times in a day, justifying the day as a loss anyway. SO...I decided that I need something to look forward to, and to be proud of. I hereby resolve to not splurge on any desserts until I have lost 10 pounds, at which time, I will (very much) enjoy a donut. This will be different for me, but worth it.

Not Abandoned, Just Busy...

I spent the weekend at summer camp for Northwest REACH, an organization Brian and I have been involved with for quite some time. It was amazing, as it is every year, to work with the staff to deliver a great experience to the families of children with HIV/AIDS.
I had intended to post Thursday before I left for camp, but due to preparations to eat well, (see photo above) I wasn't able. With my low-carb, whole foods diet, coupled with avoiding multiple food allergens and items that make me itch, I knew some planning was in order. In the past, I had fewer issues with foods and was unaware of my peanut/potato/tomato allergy, so I (gladly) ate camp food. Just about everyone who does so ends up gaining weight (these kids are offered 3 meals and 4 snacks a day, so it's really easy to over-eat).
I caved to a few small indulgences here and there, but overall, the weekend was a weight loss/gain neutral. I'm quite satisfied with that.
Since returning home, Brian has been both sick and sidelined with a pretty severe shoulder injury (he probably needs surgery, we'll likely find out in the next week or so)and I've been dumped back into life, so I've been playing catch-up.
Successes: Had labs drawn on Thursday, finding out about them today, I have a reproductive endocrinologist appointment Monday, and I met with my dietitian Wednesday. I played soccer last night. Challenges: I'm still really tired, and I tweaked an old back injury playing soccer last night. Icing, icing, icing...hopefully will be back on track soon.

What am I doing here?

That's a question I've mulling over for the last few days. What will I share? How personal? How many details? I'm still figuring that out, but here's what inspires me right now:


1. Accountability.
Even if few people are looking, if I am posting cold, hard facts about what I am doing, I know from personal experience that I will be more careful during the day regarding food and exercise.

2. Small Successes.
There are areas in my life where I have wanted to make progress for so long, but feel stuck and powerless. These areas include our home, my weight, and growing our family.
In regards to our home, getting our house fixed up in some pretty big, but basic ways such as paint, re-doing the floors, getting insulation, and re-wiring have been on the agenda for years. Money, time, and know-how are the barriers to these.
The weight is pretty obvious, and was the reason for starting this blog in the first place. Adding to our family is a tricky one, and may or may not be related to my weight loss. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome about 3 1/2 years ago, and have more or less avoided learning exactly how it affects me, but it is likely having an impact on my weight and the fact that we have never conceived in over three years of trying. We don't know if my pursuing health in general will make a difference, or how far we would go with fertility treatment, or if adoption is our answer. Money has been the major barrier to all of this. During this time Brian lost one not-so-well-paying-but-fun job, but gained a new job, which could be described as "Potentially high-paying, very exciting, but thus far extremely challenging, often thrilling, very low-paying rollercoaster." We have felt trapped by our financial circumstances for some time. We have plenty to get by the way things are, but losing my income in any way would be disastrous.

3. Relationships
Self-explainatory. Especially the ones that keep me on my toes and point me toward God.



Forward movement in any of these areas will be considered successes. I tend to dwell on my shortcomings, feeling like I have not measured up in some way, and spend time trying to insulate myself from having to deal with these things. I hereby commit to celebrating successes.


Yesterday's Successes:
-Made an appointment with a respected Reproductive Endocrinologist for Brian and I to get some solid answers.
-Ate on plan, even with one meal out.
-Hung out at dinner and soccer with my husband and new friends.
-Got the dog groomed so he will stop filling our house with hair.
Overall, a pretty good day. :)

Resolution: Photo food journal every day for a week, exercise journal for a week.

Start a blog, lose three pounds!

Call it a false negative, or my starting weight a false positive if you want, but I'll take it! It's an auspicious start. Today was soccer day, so I'm writing this late at night...more tomorrow!